When to Speak Up: Red Flags That Deserve a Second Look

Sometimes we don’t advocate for ourselves or our dogs because we’re not sure when something is actually a problem. It’s all too easy to brush off discomfort, especially when the other person seems more experienced or confident - or is a “professional”. But what if we think of our own discomfort as simply data? Then paying attention to it is part of building real-world Success, the final “S” in our BASICS Framework.

Let’s break down some of the more subtle red flags that deserve a second look. These aren’t always overtly wrong, but they’re signs that may make you want to pause, ask more questions, or rethink whether this is the right fit for you and your dog.

🚩 Red Flags to Watch For

• Appointments that feel rushed, cut off, or dismissive.
  If you feel like there’s no time to ask questions, or worse, that your questions are an annoyance, that’s a red flag. Quality professionals make space for dialogue, even in busy schedules!

• Language that blames you or your dog.
  Phrases like “You just need to be more dominant” or “He’s manipulating you” put the burden on you trying to figure something out without offering real solutions. They also completely ignore how dogs learn and communicate. In the BASICS framework, we talk a lot about coaching our dogs, not controlling them.

• No room for curiosity.
  If your concerns are met with “That’s just what we do” or “You’re overthinking it,” that’s worth noting. A solid behavior plan or training relationship should feel collaborative, not top-down list of things you simply MUST carry out (sounds similar to how we focus on your dog learning and not just “obeying”).

🧭 What to Do Instead

• Listen and your gut, then ask more questions.
  If something feels off, you don’t need to call it out immediately or confront anyone. Just start with a question. “Can you help me understand why you’re using that method?” or “What other options do we have?” keeps things open and gives you more information. Then you can make better informed decisions.

• Know your boundaries ahead of time.
  It’s easier to advocate when you’ve already thought through what you’re not okay with. For example, when leash popping, punishment or prong collars are off the table for you, write that down. That clarity helps when emotions are high in the moment.

• Bring it back to your dog’s behavior.
  Redirect the conversation to something observable like “I’ve noticed my dog shuts down after sessions like this,” or “He seemed more stressed after that technique.” You’re not challenging someone’s authority—you’re reporting what you see.

• Pause the process.
  You are allowed to say, “Can we stop for a moment?” or “I need a little time to think about this before moving forward.” You don’t owe anyone immediate agreement, especially when it comes to your dog’s well-being.

• Use your community.
  Sometimes it helps to check in with others before responding. In PAWS, post a question or describe the situation in a safe space to get feedback and support. You’re not alone in navigating these moments.

You don’t have to wait for something to go terribly wrong before you speak up. Catching those early signs—those gut-check moments—can prevent bigger issues down the road. And remember: asking questions or saying “this doesn’t feel right” isn’t confrontational. It’s part of how you protect your relationship with your dog. You also don’t have to be confrontational and tell the person they are wrong. It’s simply expanding a conversation.

In the end, you are paying a professional so you MUST feel comfortable. If you ARE the professional, make sure you do your own gut-check if you find yourself being too rushed or busy for client questions. They may simply need clarification - or they may be hitting a point that requires you to do some self reflection on your own techniques and approach. You don’t have to be everything to every body, so there’s also a chance the client is simply not a fit.

Success means feeling confident in your choices, even if it means switching direction.

Casa Luna Canines is your partner in dog training, human learning. Join us to learn how to be your dog’s best friend using 100% pain and fear free methods. Imagine what it will feel like when your dog chooses to behave well around you, no matter where you are!