Too Much, Too Soon
How “Well-Meaning” Puppy Trainers May Lead You Down a Path of Overwhelm
So you got a puppy! Adorable. That squishy face, the cautious waddle, those sleepy snuggles - your heart melts and your camera roll explodes. You’re already dreaming of all the places you’ll go together: cafés, trails, outdoor concerts, dog-friendly breweries…
And that’s exactly where things can start to go sideways.
Because everything, everywhere, all at once?
That’s not socialization.
That’s not desensitization.
That’s overwhelm.
Even the most well-meaning trainer who genuinely wants to help you introduce your puppy to the world in a positive way, can accidentally set you up to fail. Why?
Because too much, too soon can create stress, not confidence.
Socialization Does NOT Equal Exposure
Let’s clear up a big misconception: socialization is not about exposing your puppy, or even your adolescent dog, to as many people, dogs, sounds, and surfaces as possible.
Proper socialization means helping them:
feel safe in new situations
stay focused on you (even with distractions present)
build emotional resilience
That’s why we train FOR a situation, not IN the situation.
Your puppy doesn’t learn to handle the farmers’ market by being at the farmers’ market. They learn the skills in bite sized lessons and moments…at home, in your yard, during short quiet walks…long before facing a crowd, popcorn on the ground, or a golden retriever in a stroller.
If We Did This to Kids, We’d Call It Nuts
Imagine buy a 4-month old baby who just rolled over for the first time a pair of brand new running shoes because “HEY! They must be ready.” Or enrolling your kid who just mastered multiplication into a college calculus course.
Absurd, right?
We don’t expect our kids to handle adult environments without first building the skills navigate them. Sometimes that means teaching specific skills or behaviors; other times, it just means waiting for their brain to mature.
For example: we teach kids that a pizza place and a fancy restaurant require different manners, different volumes, different expectations. And what we consider “good manners” depends on our own values, cultures and context. One size does NOT fit all.
Yet we often expect our puppies to handle overwhelming public spaces without having built the skills to:
regulate emotions
recover from stress
trust that we’re there to help them
And we carry this expectation through adolescence and into adulthood.
We give our puppies access to too much, too soon.
When we take our puppy everywhere and introduce them to everything, all at once, they can easily become overwhelmed. They haven’t learned the basic concepts of HOW to manage themselves in different situations.
“Proper Socialization is about teaching confidence and coping skills.”
Yes, socialization IS critical to development. But dog socialization is NOT the same as human socialization. It’s not about letting them “hang out” with other dogs or get used to being part of a “pack”.
Being around calm, socially skilled adult dogs can be helpful for short periods of time, but let’s be honest, you’re not finding those dogs at most dog parks or in your neighbor’s yard with three rowdy adults.
So, what DO puppies need?
Early on, EVERYTHING is socialization. Being gently handled, learning body awareness, discovering the rhythm of your household (sites, sounds, smells).
What they don’t need is full access to your
entire house
backyard
neighborhood, farm, markets, parks…
Brand new puppies need:
a crate and playpen area
a potty area
and you!
That’s it! From there, you help them build confidence and coping skills one piece at a time.
“No experience is better than a bad experience.”
And…PSSSST…we’re not just talking about the new puppies here.
Here’s where most trainers miss the mark. A 6-month-old pup may look more grown up, but behaviorally, they’re still a baby and susceptible to so many fear periods. That’s why so many behavior problems start around this age: over exposure without the coping skills to match.
Instead of taking your dog into unpredictable environments and hoping for the best, try consistent desensitization in small, structured steps.
We’re not saying you have to live in isolation. Just…slow down. Respect the fact that the world is brand new to your dog. For some, focusing while you move around the room is a big ask. Expecting them to stay focused at a bustling hardware store? That’s a setup for stress - and reactivity.
Let your dog show you when they’re ready, instead of assuming they’ll simply “get used to it” - whatever “it” is.
We can’t say this enough: No experience is better than a bad experience!
Adventures with the Best Intentions Can Still Go Wrong
Many trainers will invite you on adventures: filed trips to new places, distractions layered in with treats and praise.
They genuinely want to help. But, if your dog can’t stay engaged with you in those environments, what are you really teaching?
Are you shaping focus and safety? Or are you bribing your way through a meltdown and reinforcing survival mode?
If your dog is disengaging with you, pulling, barking or showing signs of stress, head back home! Play some brain games. Add SMALL distractions at a time - like a doorbell, crumpling paper, or people or cars passing at a distance.
That’s training and socialization!
Even subtle changes like direction, background noise, your own position and movement - can be enough for your dog to learn and grow. Don’t underestimate the power of small wins.
Here’s the truth: Giving your dog access to the whole house, yard, car, and town sets both you and pup up to fail.
Instead, introduce a single game in a calm, reliable way that reinforces positive interactions and focus on YOU. Reward, Reward, Reward them for good behavior and you’ll find your relationship with your well-behaved, dog improves dramatically!
Regression Is a Training Tool, Not a Failure
If you’re reading this thinking, “I may have done too much, too soon…” you’re not alone. And you’re not doomed. It’s absolutely fixable.
You can always scale things back. Reintroduce structure. Shrink the world a bit so your puppy (or dog) can breathe, regroup, and build confidence.
They may push back at first, especially if they’re used to more freedom. But his is what good “pet parenting looks like - meeting your dog where they’re at and giving them what they need, not what social media says they should be doing.
Learn new games.
Use brainwork.
Build behavior from the inside out.
THAT’s what being your dog’s best friend looks like.
